Often placing a child for adoption is regarded as a selfish act. But, without many know, give our own flesh and blood to be raised by others is not an easy thing to do for some parents.
Unfortunately, a number of logical reasoning inevitably encourages some parents take the path of adoption. Anyone, including you, would know what it would break with biological children for a long time, or even the last time.
We saw a lot of putting a child up for adoption as an immoral act, but it is never easy for any mother who acknowledges that her kids’ life could be complete without her in it. In many ways, it is the final act of love. The body language said it was really sad, but it would be lovely.
Among the many reasons why there are parents who let their children be adopted. Here are the popular reasons;
Poverty is often the main reason for families to let their children cared for by another family. In order to provide a better life for their children, adoption is considered as a more dignified way than letting their children stay together in conditions of deprivation.
- Mother Suffering from Serious Diseases
Mother is of key importance in the family. Men are often less capable of caring for children. Many family because his wife suffered severe illnesses and difficult to cure again choose to let their children be adopted another family. In addition to that their children can be maintained better, also so that they can focus on the health care of the mother.
- Already Have More Children
While many couples who have been married for many years to wait blessed with offspring, some couples are given excessive windfall of God in the form of the child in much amount. But apparently many children also need more living costs. So, often many families put their children up for adoption others because they feel overwhelmed in the upbringing of their numerous children. Not infrequently families who had many children have close family to let them care for their children, especially those who do not have children.
- Single Parent
Some unmarried couples are provided with access to children. But not infrequently the man then left her, so the woman must be a single mom. These conditions can make the mother in a difficult position should decide to hand over her child adopted by others.
Although those four points could be enough reasons to give the baby to be adopted by others, not infrequently the myths and facts about this adoption could destabilize the intention of the biological parents to continue with the process. Here are the myths and facts related to adoption:
Myth: A true mother never really surrendered to raise a child. If you let your kids are adopted, then you do not deserve to be a mother.
Fact: A mother who sincerely creates an adoption plan for the sake of the child has put the child’s interests above her own. This is the ultimate sacrifice for a mother, to choose life for their children and be aware of what is best for her child. Adoption is the concern and responsibility that naturally owned parent.
Myth: My kid will hate me someday.
Fact: Design the best possible plan adoption; choose adoption families who can deal with making it possible to share information or as much as desired bit about yourself and your decision. Giving children a gift of life, and putting their needs as the main priority are the best wishes of every parent. Stick to these priority than other things. The truth about the status of children, can be explained when he had grown to accept the fact rationally.
Myth: Adoption is a solution that is not responsible for unplanned pregnancies.
Fact: Adoption requires a strong person and responsible. Do not feel guilty when considering the adoption or the child’s parents thought of as a punishment worthy of unplanned pregnancy. Make a choice so that children can be raised in an environment that can provide those things that cannot afford given their parents is a very courageous and responsible.
Myth: Adopted children are more problematic than children who are not adopted.
Fact: The adopted child can grow as well as children of non-adoption. A study in 1994 by The Search Institute concluded the following facts; the adopted kids have a higher value in the middle class than non-adopted children his age. This is an indicator of school performance and social competence of children adoption. Adopted children in their adults are generally less depressed than children who are raised by single parents. In addition, the adopted children are less related to alcohol, vandalism, fighting, trouble with the police, the misuse of weapons, and stolen. In health, adopted children had higher scores than children raised by single parents. Compared with the population of children in general, children have been living with the adoptive parents have better economic conditions and reduce the number of adoptive parents divorce. As told by Patrick Fagan in his book “Adoption: The Best Option”.
Myth: No one can love the child similar to biological parents.
Fact: While it is recognized, biological parents have a tremendous love for their children, it does not mean this is a biological problem or not. The love is not inherited. Love from adoptive parents to the child is the result of the effort and desire to be a parent. Adoptive parents who have a real love for and loyalty to adopted children because they appreciate have had children in their lives. Children can learn that the concept of ‘family’ is not fixated solely on biological. They also can learn, love is able to transcend the boundaries of social norms manmade. Children can learn that the closing of the door can open other doors.
Myth: Biological parents must say goodbye forever and never heard anything about a child who has been given to the other parent.
Fact: In the past, adoption usually concealing the whole past information of the children, as if taken from their biological mother forever. The children must live the rest of their life with never knowing their history. Today, you can make yourself a plan that allows the child has adoptive parents but also continued to meet their biological parents. Biological parents can stay in touch when the child has grown up to receive pictures and letters to make sure the child is in good hands. Open adoption also allows biological parents to keep in touch through phone calls and occasional visits.
Not all parents are able to give a child up for adoption. The process not only requires a strong will and reason, but also the establishment of a firm to finish the process until the end. For the sake of a child’s life better, dilemmatic decisions sometimes need to be taken. Not appropriate that we judge to the adoption as a bad choice because every person must have the intent and purpose of each.