No one wish to have any experience in this case. It is because writing words for someone who has lost a child are something very complex. Why? We think that when child or young adult died, they have gone too soon. It is like something that should not happen, but the fact it does. Losing a grown son is something unforgotten, never.
Most cards are written with some common words like “unthinkable” or “unimaginable”. So what you should say or write to those who has lost grown son?
Things To Avoids
1. Avoid sending an email or posting condolence on Facebook and social media
The power of handwritten word is powerful with all energy and emotion you spent to the paper through the pen. No one wants to re-read all the letters and cars, but for some people it s nice to have something to keep.
2. Avoid using negative words
Well, your words will give an impact to the one who received it. Instead of saying “I cannot imagine” or “I cannot believe it” to be something like “I can imagine the pain”
3. Avoid comparing or rationalizing
Don’t write something to make the receiver better by saying “Time heals all wounds” because no one can forget about the loss of grown son. Or, it is better to change the words like “He is in a better place right now”, since no one sure about that.
What can you write in condolence letter?
Perhaps right now you are thinking for something safe after reading some recommended things to avoid above so you consider using pre-printed message and then sign it, nothing more. Religious words of sympathy for loss of son should be the best way to express your friendship and love. You have to make it personal and you need to write something beautiful.
Tips to write good condolence card
1. Start everything from your heart
Start writing and expressing your personal feelings about the one’s death. Here are some examples:
“We are devastated by his death”
“His loss is breathtaking, we are thinking of you and our boundless love is always with your family”
“My heart aches for you”
2. Share good memory about the one who is gone
Sharing about a connection or memory with the child is good to start. This can be the way to compliment the one’s death. Sharing a compliment is important to help the bereaved to keep connected with their son. Here are some examples:
“His achievement, his character and sense of humor… We know you will always be grateful for the way he did in life”
3. Don’t forget the favorite memory with the child
“He is my favorite student that he always raises his hand whenever I asked him a question in the class”
“Nobody worked harder than him”
4.Compliment the parents
Support the parents and compliment them in your sympathy. If you know the parents, it is recommended to express your friendship and love for them by sharing a memory or moment to stay connected to them. Appreciate them even if you cannot really understand about the feeling of lost.
You can do more than writing the letter, such as go seeing them, calling them or walking with them and praying with them.
When you can write beautiful words to say to someone who lost a child, it surprises someone.